Conversations With My Father

If you read my previous post you know that I had quite the weekend. As if my altercation with a soulless ginger wasn’t enough I had a few interesting “altercations” involving my delightful father, with whom many of you have gotten to know through my infamous Texts from my father posts. The first altercation with my father was me learning what he envisions my future to be like:

Ryan: Oh look we’re passing by the prison, or as Dad likes to call it: Lauren’s future home.
Me: Um what?!

The next “altercation” my dad decided to hit me where it hurt.

Me: So when are Gabby and Scott getting married?
Dad: Before you.

So by now the score was Dad-2 and Me-0… Next one hit even harder

Dad: I did a load of laundry for you Lauren, do you want me to switch it out?
Me: Thanks Dad, this almost makes up for the fact that you called me an Old Maid.
Dad: Oh I did not call you an Old Maid. I just pointed out that everyone is getting married before you are.
Me: I’d get started on that laundry if I were you…

As much as I usually win against him in our text battles I was no match this weekend. The KO punch came when I saw him after getting my ticket and he asked why I couldn’t smile my way out of a ticket this time. He didn’t say it, but I could tell he wanted to say it was because I am an OLD MAID. I don’t know what it is but ever since I turned 22 my dad has been on a huge point-out-Lauren-is-old kick. But you know what, I won’t let it get me down! Besides, before he knows it he will regret every time he called me an Old Maid as I send him to a retirement home in the worst place ever: Iowa.

I hope that die-hard Husker fan enjoys being imprisoned in Hawk Eye territory.

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Posted by lharrahill1800 in College, Curses, Dad, Family, Happiness, Humor, Life Tags: college, dad, dating, funny, Hawkeye Football, humor, Iowa, life, old maid, Prison