Sadly I didn’t post much last week because I had succumbed to the dreaded flu viruses (NOT tapeworm despite what some of my family claims). This was a first for me, but I had felt that $20 was too much to spend on a flu shot when I’ve never been sick from it before. Of course this was a stupid decision because the reason I’d never been sick from the flu was because I had always gotten the shot! And I learned the hard way that you lose more than $20 if you are sick for almost a week and can’t go to work… You’d think by 22 this was something I would have already figured out.

So for a solid week I was sick and turned my apartment into a fortress of solitude. And what do you do when you’re stuck in a fortress of solitude? Well I’m glad you asked.

Buy Every Season of A Favorite TV Show

It was if God had wanted me to stay home sick because right as I was falling ill all 3 seasons of Community went on clearance at Target. Don’t trick yourself into thinking that Netflix will do! I learned the hard way during my last Vampire Diaries binge that Netflix will fail you when you need it the most! DVDs do not fail!!!

Decide Who You Will Stay With In A Zombie Apocalypse

This is a task I’ve been putting off for far too long. I hate admitting to myself that not all my friends will survive, but you need to face the facts and decide which friends will be most helpful for your own survival. Sadly most of my group consists of guy friends that are experts with guns or have valuable combat skills, many of my girl friends just don’t have the killer instinct I’m looking for. I guess it would be valuable to keep one or two friends that are a weaker link so that when we need to make a quick get away we can leave one of them behind. I just need to figure out which friends I can outrun…

Oh and don’t forget to start mapping out where you’ll go to evade the zombies. Not everyone will be lucky enough to happen upon Hershel’s farm! So far I figured my pack will run away to Fort Calhoun (a small town north of the city) and only return to Omaha for provisions. Then after we inevitably get run out we’ll journey to my hometown. Somehow everyone from my town will have survived the outbreak (probably from something in our water). Though I’m sure by the time we get there someone will have become overlord of my hometown and we’ll have to fight to free everyone from the tyrant’s raid.

I think you can tell that I had a little too much time to think about all this…

Remaster A Lost Skill

As a child I was a fort-building prodigy. I could take just a few pillows and blankets and build myself a palace comparable to Troy and Abed’s skills. Sadly, I adulthood crept up on me I left this talent behind and pursued other interests like volleyball and wheelchair mastery. I took this time to use my 13 blankets to stage a fort to end all forts! Except I kind of sucked at it… I just don’t have the pillow supply needed to support all the blankets I have. Though I’m sure next time I catch a disease I’ll have the tools needed to regain my forgotten talent.

Be Thankful

You are sick, you are miserable, you are contemplating creating a small fire so that firefighters will come and you will have someone to socialize with. Instead of figuring if cardboard or plastic will create a bigger fire, take a moment to count your blessings.

While I was sick I realized how much I take being healthy for granted. I was sick for a week but 51 weeks out of the year I’m a full-functioning human being. Well, except I still don’t know how to snap my fingers. I don’t believe I can consider myself full-functioning until I can do that…

Anyways, while I was sick I had a lot of friends and family check up on me and wish me the best! Well they’d virtually check up on me, no one really wanted to be around me while I was still contagious… Whatever, the point was being sick gave me the chance to realize how many great friends I have in my life. So amidst the congestion, aches, fevers, and loss of income I feel like I had some good come out of my time in the diseased fortress of solitude.

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Posted by in Curses, Family, Friends, Happiness, Humor, Life, Mormon Life Tags: , , , , , , , ,