He Put A Ring On It!

When I went out of town for a dance I didn’t think I’d have such a story to tell, or that I would’ve thrown up but thats for later.


So last week I went to Kearney for a group date (even though it turned out the guys in the group didn’t know it was a date). I had a fun time with  old friends and a group of guys that were only here temporarily for work. Or maybe they’re hiding from cops. Could be the latter, I actually haven’t seen them work. And it would explain why they’re in Kearney Nebraska of all places…

Regardless of their potential criminal history, I decided I’d had such a fun time that I needed to make the trek back and go to a dance the following weekend.

The YSA dance was pretty legit despite there only being 20 people. And for the first 45 minutes I was the prettiest single girl there! Until these girls from Lincoln came. Curse you Lincoln…

After the dance we decided to go to Perkins for an after party, since we had a good 3 hours until the Holy Ghost goes to bed. When we got there I sat next to this guy, Major (yes that is how he shall be known on this blog), who was one of the workers.

As we were served our food, and I was recovering from my onion incident (don’t worry I’ll get to that) I didn’t have a utensil. So naturally I stole Major’s without asking. He said, “Hey that’s mine.” and I looked him square in the eye and said,
“Well it’s mine now.”

All of the sudden Major’s face went blank and he grabbed my left hand and started putting his CTR ring on my ring finger. That was not the reaction I expected for stealing his fork…

I demanded, well more screamed for an explanation because I was kind of freaking out at how he was holding up my arm and yelling, “She’s mine!”

After the pandaemonium died down he and his friend Jesse explained how Major has a habit of taking things without asking if he knows people will give it to him i.e. food, food, occasionally socks. He had done this earlier that day and Jesse said if Major ever found a woman who does the same thing then he should put a ring on it. And lo and behold later that same day I come along…

My friends had some predictable reactions to this

Image Image


Thank goodness my mom doesn’t have snap chat or else I would’ve gotten one like this


So now my goal of getting proposed to at a YSA event is crossed off, not really sure what to do with my life now that I’ve accomplished that.

Oh and about the Onion thing…

At Perkins we started seeing who could eat the most lemons (I didn’t do too well, I made it to two before lock jaw set in) and then my friend Richard wanted me to eat a raw red onion with him.

In my defense I had no idea what I was getting into. I eat onions all the time, so how bad could a raw one be?

I took a huge bite and easily swallowed it. I sat there wondering what the big deal was, then 10 seconds later I figured it out. I felt this burning in my chest and throat, that can only be described as the devil clawing his way out of your throat.

I knew I had a 15 second window to get to the bathroom and rid myself of the onion voluntarily before it came out involuntarily. I dashed and did something I hadn’t done since the time I ate two whole boxes of hot tamales at a sleep over.

After I rid myself of the onion of evil I got back to the dinner and was soon to be “proposed” to and eat the tremendous 12 piece meal.

And yes I know it is very concerning that I can throw up and just turn around and eat a huge meal, but frankly in my family it’s quite normal.


Btw I’m really getting into snap chat, so much that some of my friends have stopped talking to me.

2 thoughts on “He Put A Ring On It!

  1. True story: I got snapchat to keep in touch with my little sister. Now that IG has direct messaging, though, it’s way easier to send her cat pictures.

    Oh, and congratulations Mrs. Major!
    P.S. If you play that song for your bouquet toss, I may kill you. j/k….everybody does it.

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